Rub salt over your body for the emotional injuries.
Always cry silently and try not to wake mother.
Don’t listen when she tells you to quit the job you need.
Then quit the job you need.
Call your boyfriend to avoid jumping into the Hudson.
Tell him you didn’t want to die.
You just wanted to become a goose.
Email your professor that you have a doctor’s appointment. Then don’t go.
You just needed it to avoid being a liar. Reschedule your date with life.
Call your boss and ask her if you can return when the sun in summer does.
Wait for her to notice that your brain works on season.
Pretend you’re better so that your therapist thinks you’re listening when she tells you it will be ok.
Get lost in a coat someone else is wearing. Close your eyes.
Your standing on the platform wondering if there is an angel at the station with you. Waiting for you to attempt to jump before reminding you of how angry the commuters will be. How could you be so selfish to die? Someone could lose their job over you.
Imagine how the jump wouldn’t kill you and how close you’d be to the rats.
Move on to 68th
I have depression and anxiety.
I am in a hole covered in black cloth and grief.
I have had depression and anxiety for most of my life.
But life goes on I promise.
Ps. Get help. Stay with help and then help yourself. Self-love will heal you more than anything else in this world. Find those methods that help you cope. Then for the rest of your life put in the time and work on it. You will find reason to wake up if you learn to love yourself.